I had an interview this morning. It went very well and I enjoyed speaking to the interviewer. However, approximately an hour into the meeting, it was disclosed that this position had no benefits and the salary was almost half of what I was making before. I was quite shocked by this, especially after reading the description of the job and viewing their website. I was definitely disappointed, but not discouraged. After all, it was a very nice meeting and no matter what the outcome may be, it is always good to network with others.
After leaving the meeting I decided that I would take a trip to Olinger which is the cemetery where my step-father was laid to rest last September. This was only my second trip back to the cemetery, despite the fact that it is literally only a 5 minute drive from my house. I went there during the holidays and had an "odd" and somewhat crazy experience and just hadn't been back since that time.
At the entrance of the cemetery stands the beautiful Columbine Memorial with stone crosses hosting pictures of the beautiful and brave students and teacher who losts their lives during the Columbine High School tragedy. I was compelled to stop and stand among the Memorial and it wasn't long before tears started streaming down my face. I felt frustrated that we have no control over others and their actions. I was angry and quickly felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety about my own kids and their safety. We send our kids to school each morning hoping that they'll come home each afternoon a bit more informed than the day before. I felt a void for these victims and their families who, no doubt, have not had a day pass since April 19, 2001 where their loved one(s) wasn't on their minds. I felt all of these emotions at once and tears were inevitable. I looked across the grass where Denny's grave site rests and I couldn't bring myself to walk over there.
I said a prayer, stood still and listened to the wind chimes for another 5-10 minutes and then I walked back to my car thinking about my best friend who died just weeks after my step-dad. I thought about all of the "bad" things that have happened over the last year...and then I thought to myself, "You're going to be just fine..." and in this moment, I felt at peace and truly did (and still do) believe that things really are okay. It is the happiness, the joy, the sadness and the sorrow that makes up this funny thing we call Life.
God Bless.
1 comments:
It is so lovely to see someone including the sad and the bad times as well as those lovely moments that we so love to remember.
It's the sad and the bad, as well as the joyful events that make us what we are...whole people.
I am so glad that you found some peace and that it stays with you. You will be just fine! Life is a bitch at times..but as sure as night follows day, there's a good moment and an other happy memory around that corner!!
Hugs and thanks so much for sharing!
June
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